Tuesday, December 29, 2009
1. Capable of being extended or shaped by beating with a hammer or by the pressure of rollers.
2. Capable of being altered or controlled by outside forces or influences
My cookie dough refused to become malleable so I kicked my grandmother in the face.
Talk about bad marketing. The definition of this word promises violence, corruption, mind control and possibly bad 80's hairstyles. I mean, what do you think of when you hear the phrases, beating with a hammer, or controlled by outside influences? Personally I think of High School, made for TV movie's about teen violence, cult influences and Looney Toon characters being murdered in humorous ways. When I first read the definition of this word, I thought, "Well this ought to be good."
But no. This word is used mainly for metal work, welding, plumbing and occasionally jewelry crafting.
The beating with a hammer aspect leans more towards how to make a piece of metal into the shape of a swan and less towards, how to kill a man in two blows or less using common household tools. I have not been this dissipointed since that day I was told I was not adopted.
This word is like buying a DVD called Hot Young Sluts Take it in the Butt and receiving a children's book about caterpillars becoming butterfly's, much to your child's disappointment. Or people who use the words curvy or voluptuous when they really mean obese with heart problems, frequently requiring wheelchair access.
Worse yet, the example sentence that Merriam Webster provided me with was, "Grandma took the cookie dough out of the refrigerator and allowed it to soften to a consistency that was firm yet malleable."
And after that build up we don't even get to see a crotch shot? Merriam Webster is a cock tease and I'm going to rape her one day if she's isn't careful. Probably at 2:00.
* P.S. This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.
* P.P.S. If you don't get the 2:00, you get raped reference, I'm not sure if we can be friends.