Monday, September 7, 2009

Ripsnorter


Ripsnorter
(RIP-SNOR-ter)
noun


MEANING:
Something extraordinary: humdinger

Example Sentence: If I participated in something ripsnorter, I certainly would not talk about it.


This word does not fit it's definition. It's like a large, prison tattooed, bounty hunter with mother issues named Daisy. If a cop came up to me and asked if I was did something ripsnorter, I would immediately nod and put my hands forward so it would be easier to cuff me. Sometimes I feel like definitions are created by some dude named Chip randomly throwing darts at a billboard of new words.

"Something extraordinary?"

Whap!

"Well, Ripsnorter it is."

"Do you want to try again Chip? I don't feel like it fits."

"Nah, my wrist hurts."

"Ok, next definition...um, a good person who does things without wanting credit for their good deeds."

Whap!'

"I don't have my glasses on, what did it land on?"

"NaziChildMolestingSerialKiller"

"Good work Chip, it's 4:00 PM you can clock out now."

Sometimes I feel like my preposterous name was created in just such a fashion. I was born, a dart was thrown and because my parents had bad aim I was named Eugenia Miriam Borkowski. If my parents were basketball players I would be named Wamp Pow Pop Awesome, which is what people who are close to me are hereby instructed to call me. Take note, one person who can touch me without me screaming.

However, it is a good thing that my parents were left handed because the names Eugenia and Miriam and Borkowski were, coincidentally right on the boarder of the names Adolf Fucking Hitler, which would probably make it EVEN harder for me to make friends. Although Fucking Hilter Adolf is a kind of cool name. FHA has a nice ring to it.

* For some reason when I typed ripsnorter into Google Image the images that came up consisted primarily of dogs so I opted to put up a picture of my parents on the night I was conceived instead. On a lighter note if you google image hot anal sex a picture of the actress Anne Hathaway comes up, right after a photo of me. It's so appropriate that it's inappropriate.

2 comments:

JMH said...

The night you were conceived? Looks ripsnorter.

MEBEE said...

I rip my nostrils whenever I snort-laugh.