Monday, May 11, 2009
: To complain fretfully; Whine
Those who whinge with persistence will either get what they want or get punched in the throat.
Sometimes I envy children. Unless they are the spawn of erratically angry and violent parents who beat them with switches and belts when they misbehave; they normally have a get out of jail free pass when it comes to throwing fits, crying in public and whinging. It is not until society hardens them that they realize such public fits of emotion are not socially acceptable. But before the age of say, six, they have no regard for how others view them, especially if they want candy.
Consistently, when I am having a really horrific day and just want to curl into a ball, stick my fingers in my ears and shriek, "LALALALALALALA", as loud as I can; I will see an apple cheeked five year old doing just that, and I will hate her for it. Kids get picked up and coddled, they get looks of sympathy from passerby's, they often even get a goddamn lollipop. Whereas if I sat down in the middle of a busy street, with my frilly polka dot skirt hiked above my head, stomping my feet and screaming, people would cross the street to avoid being struck by my flailing limbs, passerby's would shake their heads at my lack of decorum and I would probably get sent to Bellevue. I can say this from personal experience.
Granted we do not live in an entirely polite society, especially those of us who live in New York. I've seen more penises on the subway than I care to mention. I've been called a bitch when I accidentally (on purpose) bumped in someone on a crowded street and I've overheard X-rated phone conversations while in line at cafes.
But the best thing I've ever seen in New York, was four year old girl in line at the grocery store with her mother whinging incessantly about her need for candy,
"No, honey, it's to early for sugar."
"But I want it, please please please."
"I want it now, I'm gonna cry."
"Go ahead and cry, I'm not getting you candy right now."
To this the little angelic girl scrunched up her face in a look of irritation, closed her eyes and shouted,
"FUCK YOU MOM!"