Sunday, May 24, 2009



1: lacking something needed or desirable
2: Lacking possessions and resources; especially : suffering extreme poverty

When you feel lost and destitute, just remember that one day you are going to die.

Occasionally I like to pretend I am in a soap opera. But one that is set in the 1910's and involves women sending telegrams to their thwarted lovers who may or may not be in a coma. Plus, diseases like cholera and scarlet fever are a much more romantic way of death than say....heroin overdose or terrorist attack.

And that fact that people in those days used to die of a broken heart makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Especially when that fact was stated in their obituary. "George Upskirt, after thirty years of marriage died of a broken heart when his beloved forgot he was allergic to peaches." Where as now a days nobody dies of broken heart, they die of stupidity or drug induced seizures after their heart is broken.

"Paul Smith died expectantly, after trying to prove that he was not gay to his girlfriend of six years, by having marathon sex with 34 strippers. He is survived by almost everyone."

So, occasionally when I've been watching too many poorly adapted Bronte movies, I like to pepper my phrases with a list of words which make me feel like a character in Jane Austin novel. Destitute is a word which is high on that list.

I don't understand people who don't love language and who choose to use words like, broke or upset when there are words like destitute. Why would you say, "I can't go to the beach today cause I lost my wallet last night and I have no credit cards or money till Monday."

When you could say,

"The waves must wait for me till the morrow due to a folly on the part of yours truly which left me in a dire state of utter destitution."

Right? Um, I mean, doth my vindication fall on deaf ears?

1 comment:

MEBEE said...

because everyone will hate you & you'll have no friends, that's why.