Monday, May 18, 2009

Cupidity

Cupidity
(kyoo-PID-uh-tee)
noun

MEANING
1 : Inordinate desire for wealth : avarice, greed 2 : Strong desire : lust

EXAMPLE SENTENCE
At least I'm in good company when I am basking in the shallow pool of my own cupidity.

Ah, anything with a deadly sin in the definition is bound to be something we all can releate to. Merriam-Webster felt the need to inform me that the root of this word is Cupid, as if I didn't already make that conclusion.

Initially I thought it was mean spirited that this word had to come out of the wood works and tarnish the reputation of sweet, naked, good natured little Cupid. But the more I though about it, the more I've come to the conclusion that Cupid had it coming. He's kind of an asshole.

First of all he's a pervert, child or not, his mother should put some goddamn pants on that boy before he gets a ticket for indecent exposure. Secondly, he goes around shooting people. And I don't care if his arrows are made of sunshine and joy, I'm sure they still hurt, or at least startle you. I got hit in the head with a giant leaf the other day and I'll tell you, with the way I screamed, it might as well have been a brick. I thought I was being attacked by a bat. Thirdly, he basically goes around drugging people into thinking they are in love. Oh, I'm sorry he brings "soul mates" together. You know what else brings soul mates together? Booze, and drugs and general desperation or loneliness.

Ecstasy makes you feel the same way I hear, and after you're done telling the cab driver you are in love with him and grinding against a sign post for sexual gratification you wake up feeling dirty and bruised and wondering why you are wearing three wedding rings and have a leash around your neck. Which is probably similar to the way Cupid's poor victims feel after their roofies wear off and they wake up one day, fat and decrepit clinging to the hand of someone they have never had a real conversation with.

So, you creepy little lewd, naked, baby child druggie; call me crazy but I say you're lucky a word like cupidity came along and slapped you in the face with some honesty. I would much rather the God of Cupidity slipped something into my drink than you. And let me just say that it's really hard to have a conversation with you when you're pointing a bow and arrow at my face.

3 comments:

MEBEE said...

"Oh, I'm sorry he brings "soul mates" together. You know what else brings soul mates together? Booze, and drugs and general desperation or loneliness."

Eu-genius. And Freudian slip misspelling GENIUS.
Don't eva change.

Kate Z said...

can't be coincidence it rhymes with "stupidity"

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