Thursday, May 14, 2009

Bludge


Bludge
(BLUJ)
verb

MEANING
1. To avoid work or responsibility
2. To get something from or live on another by imposing on hospitality or good nature : sponge

EXAMPLE SENTENCE
Do you mind if I bludge off of you for the next seven to eight years and then end it in a messy and public divorce?


I'm beginning to think Merriam-Webster is spying on me. Much like the ads that scroll along the right hand side of my e-mail account which correlate creepily to whatever I am writing. I'll receive an e-mail about coming into work on my day off and the ad next to it will read; 100% remove evil spells! Expert Indian Vedic Rituals Remove All Sort of Curses & Black Magic! Hello? The universe is clearly telling me something.

I think my good friends at Webster are on that same path. The only difference is while the Goggle robots are reading my e-mails I'm pretty sure Merriam-Webster is reading my mind.

This morning I woke up at the ungodly hour of 9:00 (I know right?) and after kicking my alarm clock across the room and mumbling a stream of profanity that would make a truck driver blush, I lay in bed trying to think of life plan which would allow me to not have to get out of bed and go to work.

I considered a half assed suicide attempt, maybe swallowing 6 aspirin or something. I considered telling my boss that my favorite great, great, great, grandfathers dog had died. I considered marrying rich. Then I gave up, made coffee and checked my e-mail and lo and behold my word of the day is bludge.

I haven't tested this theory but I'm pretty sure that if I listened to the audio pronounciation (which I don't have to do for this word, thank you very much) the robotic voice would say something along the lines of, "Eugenia don't bludge your life away."

Yup, I just listening to it and that's exactly what it said, although he did say, "You fucking loser." at the end, which I found unnessicary.

I would write more but my favorite great, great, great grandfather's dog just died and I think I may kill myself.

2 comments:

MEBEE said...

Something is pushing them
To the side of their own lives.

A. McNey said...

i am beginning to think these 'words of the day' are actually just words you make up eugenia. its less merriam-webster reading your mind and more you deceiving your loyal readers. i am going to start a rival blog called the real truth behind word of the day: see how tricked you are getting? dot blogspot dot com.