Thursday, April 30, 2009



1: tending or intended to cause delay
2: characterized by procrastination : tardy

Eugie's pension for falling asleep in the bathtub when she had to be at work in ten minutes is clearly dilatory.


I think I know this man, I'm pretty sure he yelled, "Gimme a cigarette cunt face," at me in Central Park the other day and I'm pretty sure he then asked me for my number. And I'm pretty sure I gave it to him and I'm pretty sure he NEVER called.

I wish he had though because I'm almost positive we are soul mates. We could take naps in the park and spend romantic, lazy Sunday-Saturday mornings, afternoons and evenings in bed. We could arrive everywhere two and half hours late and our friends would chuckle and say, "You two and your dilatory nature!"

We could live a perfect slothful life, never doing anything until we were forced; by say an eviction notice or a court ordered subpoena. We could eat food out of the trashcan because we procrastinated the day away and forgot to go "earn money". We could look down our noses at those "robots" who keep their jobs because they are never late for work, meet deadlines and leave the house before dusk. We could have beautiful, slightly obese children and then immediately realize that parenthood is too much work and leave them on a street corner in a pizza box.

And then when we wake up one day and realize we are about to die, we can high five and go back to bed and rejoice in the fact that we don't have to pay that pesky $4,567.00 utility bill.

Seriously, CALL ME.

No comments: